my one’s’ and only’s’

Dear W & M,

Lately you have got me laughing out loud at all the silly things we do. You both love blowing fart noises in my stomach which means I end up with slobber all up in my belly button. It’s so gross but you both absolutely love it. And I love you, so it happens quite often. You are both sleeping in the same crib nowadays. While you sleep, you hold on to each other. You’ll kiss each other and cuddle as you are trying to fall asleep because you two are the best’est of friends. There is no William without Matthew or Matthew without William. You guys have to be together or you’ll spend the whole time calling out for one another. Especially when one of you wakes up earlier from your nap and I’m trying to cuddle you in the couch… there you go waking up your brother, “Tata…”

Yesterday I barely got to see you because I was photographing a birth. I missed you. I talked about you almost the whole time I was speaking to anyone and I wished the whole time I was home with you watching you play together. You’ve changed me. The things that once were so exciting and wonderful to me don’t compare to the way I feel when I am with you. Nothing compares to the feeling that rushes through me when you lean on me for a hug or surprise me with a big wet kiss. When you were both much younger I used to wonder if you would ever love me as much as I love you. Because it just didn’t seem possible. But on days like last night, when you don’t want to let go of my hand, and you ask me to jump in the crib with you, just like we do on our lazy afternoons, you tell me without telling me all that you feel. I am your person. It’s a privilege I will never take for granted … I get to be your momma. A momma that would do anything for you. You are my fire and my wild. Every day is great because you make it great for me. And not just me, your dad thinks so too. He keeps these things to himself a little more than he should, but you both drive him insanely wild too.

How did we ever get so lucky to have you two? We can’t wait to share the rest of our life with you. I know that what we do now, the places we go or the things you discover, you won’t recall later on so these photographs are here to help you remember. Remember the times we spent together with nothing but my silly songs and your sweet faces. I love you. I love you. Forever my babies.

Thank you Sam for always coming along whenever we need you. I love you.