Luke's Birth Story Slideshow Luke - 2nd Kennedy baby & Sam's best friend. Luke was born in 2009 at Woman's Hospital - Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
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Lilly's Birth Story Slideshow Lilly - 3rd Kennedy baby & princess of the house. Lilly was born in 2013 at Woman's Hospital - Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
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HANGING OUT WITH THE VIGOAS · ASK ABBY

being a twin mom

What’s it like being a twin mom?

Every time someone asks me this, which happens to be a lot for some reason, I answer with the same response… “I wouldn’t know what it’s like being any other kind of mom.” Being a mom to twins I’m sure would be different if you were to have older children. At that point you would be able to compare, but when it happens the first time around you know nothing else but always repeating everything twice. Being a mother to however many children is the greatest blessing we as women will ever have. These little humans we grow inside are truly the best gift. For the 9 months approximately that we carry them inside we have the privilege of having them entirely to ourselves. This is something I was very fond of… knowing that they were only ‘my babies’ or so I would tell my husband when ever I wanted him to reassure me otherwise. Once they arrived our lives, priorities, sleep, and time forever changed. Switching from a family of two to a family of four was quite the adjustment. We needed tons of space. Space that we actually didn’t have at the time. Sleep was an absolute joke… because when one was asleep the other one was not. Matthew has never been much of a sleeper. He likes to take quick naps and is usually the first to wake up in the morning. So we just survived. There are days I don’t remember entirely and those first three months are sometimes a blur. But every time I look at those images of how tiny they were in our arms, how perfectly they fit cradled together in just one bassinet, I’m ready to do this all over again. Crazy I know.

I couldn’t imagine being mother to just one of my boys. I feels just right that I have them both and at the same time. The craziness doesn’t frazzle me one bit. It makes me tired of course, I mean what mom isn’t? But I wouldn’t have it any other way. My heart is completely full because they are part of our lives now. D and I talk about them usually when they are asleep and think back to a previous stage. Kinda like, you remember when we couldn’t wait for them to walk? Yeah we had it good then. Do you remember when it would take us thirty minutes to feed them just a couple of ounces of milk? So glad we can give them anything now. And that’s how it happens. You always think about the past because they leave imprints in your memory of the sweetest time. Of the best days. Of the happiest moments. Like when the boys first stood up in their crib. We kept bringing them down just to watch them do it over and over again. Small celebrations that bring you so much joy.

But to make this post less sentimental and more informative, these are a couple things that I feel only twin moms fully understand. This is what separates us from other moms and pretty much makes us “the other kind”.

  • Having twins is expensive. Two of almost everything… just multiply the cost of having one baby. There is no such thing as hand-me-downs from another sibling. There is no such thing as sharing most things. And DIAPERS. We buy so many diapers that I am trying my hardest to potty train as early as possible.
  • No matter where we go, people will always stare and ask if the boys are twins. This is doesn’t go away the older they get. As long as your kids are together and are identical or somewhat identical like I think the boys are, someone will always ask. Just the other day I was at Target with my mother and I saw the oldest pair of twin men I had ever met. They were 72 years old, traveling here from Sweden. It was quite evident that they were twins, but we still went up to them and asked. We then stood there in the middle of the greeting card aisle talking about how great their lives were as twins and how much fun I’m going to have raising my boys. The one thing they said that stuck with me was, ‘they will always have each other’.
  • Twins love being together. The boys can’t be apart from each other for more than a couple minutes before the endless question game begins. Tata? Tata? Tata? They may fight over toys, push, bite and every other form of kid fighting you can imagine, but there is no one else they would rather be with. Not even me. Or dad. I have no doubt that siblings can come to form a very close relationship, but theres something about being a twin, especially same sex twins that get to do almost everything together from the very beginning that strengthens their bond like no other.
  • People will more than likely not be mindful of their inappropriate questions. I’m sure singleton moms get these as well, but sometimes I feel it goes a bit too far. One that seems to get me is when I am asked if I conceived twins naturally. Just for the record, I did, twins happen to run in both our families. But what if it happens to be to a mom who didn’t? What if that’s a mom who has struggled to get pregnant for many years? Or who has had several health issues, or miscarriages, or an endless list of struggles? Other than that one I’d say the next one would be when I’m asked if I had a cesarean or natural birth. I’m curious if thats something that is also commonly asked to other moms.
  • Patience… lots and lots of patience.
  • Everything you do takes more time. More time to get them dressed, change diapers, feed them, take them places. Which happens to go perfectly with the next one:
  • Going somewhere requires lots of effort. Not that I don’t wrangle my monsters alone but let’s say I was taking them to Target for a quick trip for diapers. Getting them out of the car seats and one in each hand usually takes us a couple of minutes because the moment I let out the first one out of his seat he darts to the back of the car and never wants to get down. So then I never opt for bringing them in the stroller because that means I would have to push the stroller with one hand and drag the cart with the other. So we walk the whole way through to get a cart. The carts are usually stacked together so I then have to let go of one and try to hold him in place with my leg while I break loose a cart. Carry one in with one hand to the basket and place the other in the actual kid seat. Being that there is only one kid seat, I spend most of the time telling the one loose to sit down, keep his hands in the cart and making sure he doesn’t grab things while I stroll by. Once we start loading the stuff they will be right there inside with him. So that one will be entertained by trying to open everything I have yet to pay for while the other one is asking him to pass things over for him as well. There is always an occasional let’s chuck this out of the cart because it doesn’t look interesting and oh my favorite, let’s yank the price tag so that when its time for mommy to pay she just looks like a crazy person. I still love going through most aisles and taking my time soaking in the Target feels all while making sure they haven’t taken off their shoes and left them behind. I’m sure this happens to all mom that have multiple kids until the moment of reasoning comes. You can’t tell one twin to help you out here. One will not know more or know better. They will equally throw a tantrum over not wanting to be the caged one in the seat. Now if you’re really wild, you can put them both in the basket part and take them for a spin!
  • Twins have their own language. I know almost speak twin. There are words that they have entirely made up and use quite often. They understand each other perfectly and its amazing how they will carry on conversations that no one else is a part of.
  • Twins have always had to share. They have been sharing me since day one. They shared the womb. They share a birth date. They share a room. They share food and toys and everything else you can imagine. So even when they don’t want to share, it will more than likely still end up that way.
  • Last but not least, as a twin mom, you will feel as if your heart is now finally doubled in size. So much love. So much emotion. So many memories. All at once. It’s not that I didn’t love before, but now having those two little munchkins I know just how much I am capable of loving. And right about the time you think you couldn’t possibly love them more, you’re wrong again.

The following pictures were taken when the boys were four months old at my parents farm. They sold the farm this year so its bittersweet seeing these images of I believe the second time we brought them out there.

abigail vigoa
abigail vigoa
abigail vigoa
abigail vigoa
abigail vigoa
abigail vigoa

Would you like to read more twin-mom related posts? Here’s a few:

Entering the terrible twos

Finding out we were expecting twins

Taking twin babies to Disney

William & Matthew’s Birth Story

First trimester of being pregnant with twins

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2 Responses

  1. note from:
    Samay

    I love reading all your twin posts. I completely agree with everything, i too can’t compare to what it is to have just one baby. I just know watching moms with just one baby seems so easy for me lol but I wouldn’t change my two for anything in the world. I love being a twin mom. I can’t wait for the target cart adventures, that was too funny. Girl yesss twins are sooo expensive but it’s worth every penny and every diaper. Thankfully I have yet to buy any diapers or wipes from all the one I received as gifts. Oh and I always get asked the same questions about how we conceived and how the labor was and i love to see all the surprised looks when I tell them I had them vaginally. Lol. Off to read your next twin post.

    • note from:
      Abigail Vigoa

      Hi Samay! Thank you for following along! You are just a couple of months behind in all the twin boy madness… but don’t worry Lucas and Liam will soon be causing their own version of trouble!

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