It was an exhausting twelve hours of labor and I found myself with such a massive headache I couldn’t quite smile through all the excitement of just meeting my sons for the first time. A wave of sadness and joy was simultaneously hitting me with such force that all I wanted was to pass out for just a few minutes. I mention sadness because the boys had been swept away and were being examined by the NICU nurses. But before I could even close my eyes to rest the nurse walked in with Matthew. She said she was going to see if he would latch before taking him to NICU. There I was just about to fulfill a lifelong dream and I was too tired to even show emotion.